Tag Archives: Discipline
Positive Discipline For Teenagers Lack of Respect
What Causes Lack of Respect in Teenagers?
The lack of respect teenagers show these days is certainly no secret. Today, I found myself thinking about what some of the causes could be and I identified three things I believe contribute greatly to the lack of respect found in teenagers.
Changes in Government and Society
There was a time, and not that long ago, when most parents enforced the rules in their homes through several different methods including physical punishment.
These physical punishments, most often spankings, were actually very effective positive discipline for teenagers. They might not seem so positive but they were because the paddling was the final line. It brought real consequences to a child’s actions.
For example, when I was growing up if I did something I wasn’t supposed to do I’d find myself grounded for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks.
Often, I’d be punished physically as well. I’m not talking about being slapped around or any foolishness like that. I’m talking about a good ole paddling. Often those were administered with a belt.
It wasn’t just me either. It was quite common for a kid to be spanked back when I was growing up.
The result? We learned if we did not want to get a whupping we needed to follow the rules.
Times have certainly changed. Some of the people who make the laws in this country decided that a parent disciplining their child by means of a paddling was child abuse.
These days any parent who spanks their child can have child abuse charges filed against them and find their state government interfering in their family life.
I believe this is one of the greatest reasons teenagers have a lack of respect today. Because without the backup of an actual real punishment there is no real motivation for a kid to change their behavior.
Parents today often have their kids right up in their faces yelling at their parents. What is the parent going to do? Well, when it comes right down to it they really cannot do anything.
Sure they can tell the child to stop it or else… but what is the or else? The parent can try grounding them from the television or computer. They can take away their cell phone. They can tell their disobedient child he / she are not leaving the house for a week.
This all sounds good. It should be effective, right? So… what happens when the child thinks “to heck with this!” and watches television and gets on the computer anyway? What if they sneak in and take back their cell phone? What if they sneak out of the house or simply walk out right in front of their parents?
Although this might seem quite extreme for kids to do, believe me, it does happen and is happening all over the USA every day. Talk to your friends. Watch the news. Search the Internet only briefly and you will discover what a huge problem this has become.
The bottom line is without any real “tool” in their toolbox the parents no longer have any real power to enforce the rules and make their kids behave.
Everyone Must Earn Respect… Including You!
Recently, I was reading an article that talked about how teachers are seeing an alarming trend these past few years.
The students are expecting everyone else to earn their respect. Teenagers make their teachers earn their respect. Until the teacher earns the respect the student has none for them simply because of the teachers position.
The same goes for their parents and even other teenagers. They do not respect people for being older. They do not respect people for things they have accomplished. They do not respect their parents for providing for them and for bringing them into the world in the first place.
I have talked to many teenagers in an attempt to understand it. The things I have been told are “what other people have done has nothing to do with me” and “Why do adults always brag about what they have done, pat themselves on the back and want us to kiss their behinds?”
The only explanation I have for this behavior is the teenagers may have learned this from a role model.
A Disrespectful Role Model
If a child has grown up around a parent, or other adult role model, who often talks and acts disrespectfully the child will pick up on that.
For example, if a parent is always complaining about their job, and in particular, complaining about their boss or other people they work with… think about what kind of message this sends to kids.
First, the child can begin to lose respect for their parent. They may think “wow, (mom or dad) must be a real pushover if they have so many problems at work.” They may also support their parent fully and think “I’ll never let some idiot ruin my life like that. I won’t even give them the chance to!”
Neither of these views is a healthy way for a child to see the world and other people. Under such circumstances, it is understandable how the child may develop an aggressive personality causing them to challenge all authority. After all they have seen what such people did to their parent’s life. They’ve listened to their parent complain about it for years. The child may simply be doing whatever they can to make sure they will not be treated the same way as their parent has been.
I’m not laying the blame solely on parents. Believe me, I understand this cannot be the entire reason behind teenagers lack of respect.
The Always Improving Parent has four children. He understands the challenges today’s parents face.
Transfuse Toddler Positive Discipline
The discipline is training and understanding process that will result in the child’s ethical formation. The word is derived from exactly the same word which indicates “disciple”, ie the student. Absolutely no child is gifted from birth with self-control (self) and do not have sufficient life knowledge that understands how to discipline alone. Parents are the educators to fulfill that role whiles children are disciples who additionally learned from them a means of life.
Disciplinary tactics are transforming nowadays. Recently there has been a general relaxation tactics passing the generous and democratic popular techniques at the time of children’s rebellion in the 70s. Part of this modify is due to acceptance by secular theorists of the indisputable fact that rebellious behavior isn’t the response to inadequate parental education and learning, but it results in something much more basic, namely, the character of the youngster. Undoubtedly, poor parental education motivates children’s inclination to rebel autonomy.
Because the main purpose of beneficial discipline of children is to discover them responsible conduct morally, good development or justness, discipline (parental schooling) will attain that goal with a much better instructional success than permissive styles (tolerant) and authoritarian. Positive elements of the discipline is identified with education and guidance in that it focuses on the introduction of inner (inner mind), personal accountability. All these qualities lead to behavior whose inspiration originates from the heart of a child.
Numerous parents think about the little one’s positive discipline as a method of controlling the actions of the youngster now. This is correct, but only partly. The primary objective of self-discipline and long-term future. Any activities which are taken for the time expedients must harmonize with its main goal. It is true that any consequence, still seems a reason for sorrow, certainly not joy, but then to those who have been trained because of it, much more satisfying.
Positive Child Discipline consists of a variety of key concepts and deeds (actions), some encouraging and some solutions. Part of the motivation contains: acceptance, prizes (or inducements), praise and rewards. The proper side includes: verbal reproach, natural implications, isolation, restrictions, loss of privileges and physical punishment. Each action has a purpose, a purpose and take up a legitimate place in the overall process of self-discipline.
Every day life offers enough principles for increasing children, but as mentioned previously doesn’t provide a detailed design of each action to be taken.
To maintain a good relationship in the planning (education), the following ideas are simple to our principles: all disciplinary routines, both damaging and positive ones, should be compatible.
The following plan explains a amount of disciplinary principles that are compatible with good growth pattern of kids. The procedure begins with parental guidance, which can be strengthened by a mixture of negative and positive activities. With this chapter, we summarize for every action (or activity) and its relation to the entire strategy of positive discipline.
Training / assistance is the starting place of schooling (increase) of the child. To teach a child to live sensibly is equally verbally and by example. If not educate your children that they will ever understand what is required? If you do not live under that claim, how much can it actually imply?
Not all actions are ethical anyway. Several are morally neutral, and connect with fundamental skills and expertise improvement. Learning to swim, to tie shoelaces, to ride a bike, hit the ball, to climb the rope, play the piano, or discover multiplication tables by heart, all signify some non-moral actions. These are abilities associated with normal gifts, talents and mental capacity. To identify the main difference between moral behavior and morally fairly neutral is an important first step in teaching the kid. Encourage and modification procedure to build up a skill or talent differs with the amendment / change compartmental. The last has its own roots not in the kid’s organic capabilities, however in his heart.
As I said previously, the actions (facts) of a child is generally moral or morally neutral. Behavior is associated with heart obligations. Inspiring and encouraging one’s heart is accomplished by correction (straightening). Both measures are important and none is really effective with no other.
Want more about Positive Discipline? Then I would like to invite you to get FREE Instant Access to a book on how to correct children behavior with positive discipline and without punishment. Visit http://www.correctchildrenbehavior.com
From Steve Robbins – the child behavior change advocate.
Positive Discipline, Positive Thoughts, And Contributing Positivity
In this article, I will be explaining the importance of, and how to improve positive discipline. And why it is so important to contribute as much positivity to the universe whenever possible.
We all have them, those negative thoughts that just seem to pop into our heads out of no-where at random. For me, this seems to happen the most while I’m driving. No matter how hard I try to stay positive and courteous when I’m on the road, my ego just LOVES to make that difficult for me. And this takes some strong positive discipline to overcome.
I understand why though. When I look back at past events in my life, I can find where these negative thought patterns and habits stem from. Most of the time, it’s conditioning from either the people I used hang around with, television shows I used to watch everyday, and music I used to listen too. That’s still embedded into my subconscious, which inevitably finds its way out from time to time.
But rather than getting angry and disappointed at myself, and trying to suppress the thoughts I’d like to change. I decided to look at them from a different point of view. I started doing my best to dismantle my ego, by letting myself know that this is just my own programming coming out, and it’s giving me an opportunity to fix it. Because the universe knows that my intentions are to solve these problems within myself, so it will put me in situations that will test me, and give me the opportunity to do it.
With the driving scenario, I notice that when my intentions are to remain positive and courteous on the road, that’s when I always seem to get tested the most. I’ll just happen to get cut off more, someone will drive really close behind me (A huge pet-peeve of mine), or someone will pull out right in front of me and make me hit my brakes, when they could have just waited a few extra seconds. All of these used to really work me up, and sometimes still do. But I’m getting a lot better at it, and my driving experience changes from something stressful, to something relaxing and calm when I don’t get angry. Funny thing is, I always seem to get to my destination faster as well.
This is just one scenario of course, my past programming is always coming out in all kinds of situations. But instead of trying to suppress it, which never works, I just change the thought from something that’s negative, into something that’s positive. Instead of thinking “Jackass! Stop driving like an idiot!” I think “Thank you for testing me, have a wonderful day and drive safe.” This change in thinking isn’t easy, it’s so tempting to think the opposite. It will take some discipline, but the results are worth it.
Because you can’t change what happened, and getting angry doesn’t solve anything. You have no idea what’s going on in that persons world, so you might as well not let it affect you and put a negative impact on your day. Once you start to get into the habit of doing this, it’s only a matter of time until you’ve reprogrammed your mind into it being permanent. And you will literally see how it not only changes your own reality for the better, but for everyone else as well. The universe responds in a powerful way in your efforts to improve yourself.
Seeking to Contribute Positivity
Looking at the current condition on the planet, I think it’s quite obvious that the negative is outweighing the positive. Everywhere you go, people seemed to be weighed down by excess drama, anger, fear, stress, and anxiety. Most people seem to always be judging others, instead of trying to improve the situation. This is why trying to do your best to contribute some positivity to the world, is not just important, but is absolutely necessary.
This can be done in everyday situations, in so many simple ways. It doesn’t matter how small it is, to the whole, it contributes A LOT more than you might think it does. And the more you do it, the more you will notice it.
For example, men, if you’re at a guests house, and you see that the garbage can in the kitchen is overflowing, take it outside for them. Hold the door open for the person behind you. Do the dishes after your woman cooks you a meal, and thank her for it. If you see someone trip and fall, help them up instead of laughing at them. Help an elderly woman with loading her groceries in her car. Let someone in front of you in a traffic jam.
This is only just few ideas, if you’re a little shy at first, then just smile and say hi to a stranger. Anything helps, and nothing is too small. Every little bit of positivity helps A LOT, and is so needed in the world right now.
You don’t need to try and force a situation where you can help. I find that when I have a mind-set like “I’m going to help someone today” then it doesn’t seem to happen as often. Instead, just let it be your intention in general, and then just go on with life as you normally would. You will find that, the opportunities were always there, but you were just unaware of them. Or social conditioning made you blind and ignorant to them. Your intention to contribute, will be known to the universe, and it will put you in situations where you can help. You don’t need to force it.
Now get out there, and help make the world a happier, less stressful place to live.
Sean Burrows loves to learn and discover new ways to improve the quality of peoples lives. He studies personal development and health rigorously and is the developer and author of:
http://www.what-is-personal-growth.com
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