Tag Archives: Language
Positive Parenting Technique Number 1 – Speak Your Child’s Language
By learning to speak your child’s “language,” you begin to apply a powerful positive parenting technique that significantly improves both your relationship and influence with them.
Let’s explore two situations that can happen when you “speak” a different behavioral language than your child.
If you are fast paced and energetic and your child is not, they may seem to move and speak so slowly that it nearly drives you nuts.
Likewise, if you are more contemplative and slower paced and your child is fast and energetic, their energy, volume, and pace might exhaust and frustrate you.
If either of these situations describes your relationship with your child, the frustration and disconnect you feel may be because you and your child have completely different behavioral styles.
The examples above reference some common frustrations that happen when parents and children have different “motor” drives. A difference in motor drives between parent and child can create a pace, volume, and intensity mismatch between them that causes real stress and frustration in the relationship.
Another common difference can occur between “compass” drives. Some people are naturally very task-oriented. They tend to look at every situation as a task to accomplish. Other people are very people-oriented. They tend to evaluate every event based on how relationships are affected. Most people have a blend of these two perspectives, and will still tend to lean a bit more one way than the other.
Both perspectives are perfectly normal and natural. Neither one is better or worse than the other. However, when two people in a relationship have significantly different tendencies in this area, conflict can erupt.
For example, task oriented parents with people oriented children may come across as too harsh or rigid to their children. Similarly, people oriented parents with task oriented children may frustrate their children because they (the parents) act “too silly.”
The types of conflicts and misunderstandings that come from these differences are many and varied.
To minimize these conflicts and build a better relationship with your child, learn to understand and speak their behavioral “language.” The DISC model of human behavior is a powerful tool to help you develop this understanding and skill.
Study the model. Consider taking assessments so that you can objectively identify the differences and similarities you have with your child. If you will dig into understanding your child and speaking their language, you will be applying one of the most powerful positive parenting techniques at your disposal – the “technique” of love and understanding.
With his wife Sandra, Guy Harris co-created a positive parenting program called The Behavior Bucks System. Guy and Sandra Harris are both Human Behavioral Consultants and parents.
Related Positive Mindset Articles
Positive Language in the Education in Nigeria
Language may refer either to the specifically human capacity and using complex systems of communication or to a specific instance of such a system of complex communication. Language is an exceedingly powerful tool. Whether you communicate orally or in written form, the way you express yourself will affect whether your message is received positively or negatively. Managers of Restaurants in Lagosalways ensure that their staffs have a very welcoming attitude to all customers no matter the situation at hand. Even when they are conveying unpleasant news, its impact is softened by the use of positive language.
The naysayer is the person who often offers criticism of ideas or always provides reasons why something won’t work. The extreme naysayer rarely offers suggestions or alternatives, but is very good at picking holes in the ideas of others. Working with such a person can be very fatiguing. The constant challenging of the naysayer, while it may stimulate discussion, also creates a negative environment and increase confrontation. People who work in most of the Lagos Entertainmentcompanies always politely avoid such people especially when there are other customers around. These naysayers don’t always have negative attitudes even though in many cases they simply use language that gives the impression of negativity. They have not learned to phrase their comments in more constructive and positive ways.
Negative phrasing and language often have the following characteristics:
Tells the recipient what cannot be done
Has a subtle tone of blame
Does not stress positive actions that would be appropriate or positive consequences
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People working in Restaurants in Lagoshave the following positive phrasing and language qualities:
Tells the recipient what can be done
Suggests alternatives and choices available to the recipient
Sounds helpful and encouraging rather that bureaucratic
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Positive phrasing should be emphasized more in the Education in Nigeriaso as to build a nation with future great minds since they speak positively. Young ones are going to be taught to eliminate negative phrases and replace them with positive ones.
Examples of few positive phrases are:
1. If you can send us the documents, we can complete the process for you
2. The information we have suggests that you have different viewpoint on this issue. Let me explain our perspective.
3. One option open to you is…………
4. Might we suggest that you………..
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Negative language conveys poor image to customers and those around. Sometimes it causes conflict and confrontation where none is necessary or desired. Due to this most people in the Lagos Entertainmentcompanies ensure their staff have the right attitude and speak the positive language to customers at all times.
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