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The Pure Power Of Positive Conflict
Sad but true – life inside the cube is often characterized by strife. Negative conflict, whether based on interpersonal differences or political maneuvering, abounds. Ironically, for organizations to step up and reach their potential they need more conflict, not less. Here’s the hook – we need more positive conflict and less negative conflict. Negative conflict is overly emotional, usually unnecessarily personal, and based on opinions and bad assumptions. Negative conflict, not surprisingly, is almost never associated with positive outcomes at work. Positive conflict is more honestly rational than emotional, usually based on real issues not interpersonal differences, and rooted in objective facts. Want real innovation and improvement? You need three things: more positive conflict (and less negative conflict), better conflict management skills in the organization, and a solid “no jerk” rule.
More positive and less negative conflict
These are separate but closely related ideas. Let’s start with the negative. If you’re a leader and you genuinely care about improving your group and organization, from now on you personally shoulder the burden to call out – in real time, on the fly – all clear instances of unproductive negative conflict. See it, step in and discuss it, and clearly state to those involved why this is an example of unproductive negative conflict that cannot be a part of our work culture moving forward. Be kind, be positive, be helpful – yes, but do it. If you see the instances of ugly negative conflict pop up and you do nothing to deal with it, you will not have a work environment capable of capitalizing on positive conflict. Assuming negative examples are in check, positive conflict is principled debating, questioning of assumptions, fact based sparring. As a leader, you encourage and facilitate this positive and aggressive form of dialogue. Don’t forget – you need to be questioned too, your comments are not off limits when it’s time to get into debate mode.
Hone those conflict management skills
If the goal is to maximize the contribution of positive conflict, you have to arm your team to correctly deal with positive conflict. There are many internal and external approaches, but the point is simple: most people are not naturally wired to effectively navigate conflict filled situations. The good news is that these are skills that can be quickly acquired. Training of this sort will improve your team’s ability to keep conversations positive and fact-based, to call out unacceptable emotional levels, to correctly identify and prioritize whether a given issue is worth the effort needed for positive conflict, to get the correct people involved in the conversation, specify tactics for safely asserting one’s point and for honestly validating others’ points, etc. For well chosen employees, a few days spent working through these tactics via reading, discussions and experiential activities can pay huge dividends for your team.
No jerks allowed
It is, however, not just about your team – it’s about you. Any time you allow one or more people to significantly and/or persistently deviate from a major behavioral norm (such as shunning negative conflict in order to build positive conflict), you have wasted your entire effort. When principled members of your team watch you allow one or two individuals continue to engage in negative conflict with no consequences, you’re toast. If you want to be serious, you can’t play favorites or turn your back on conflict. The rule must be clear and respected by all – no jerks allowed. Negative emotions spread like a virus at work. One lone jerk, allowed to be a jerk at will, will spoil the morale in a group quickly.
In short, if you will strongly encourage your direct reports to begin enforcing the ban on negative conflict, find some resources to help the entire group build some tried and true conflict management skills, and if you personally will model the correct behaviors by not allowing any jerks to flourish, you will have made great strides towards realizing the pure power of positive conflict for your organization.
Dr. Dewett is a nationally recognized leadership expert, professor, author, professional speaker and consultant specializing in all aspects of organizational life. As quoted in the New York Times, BusinessWeek, CNN, the Chicago Tribune, MSNBC and elsewhere. He is the author of Leadership Redefined. Podcasts, blog, free newsletter and more at http://www.drdewett.com Copyright 2009 TVA Inc.
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Keep a Positive Balance
A Teachable Moment
If there was ever a teachable moment around your relationship with money, this is it.
Markets go up and obviously, down, leaving very little room these days for Magical Thinking. You can’t control the economy and you can’t always predict the market, so why not use this time to practice creating a richer life right now?
As a cellist I learned that no matter how accomplished you are, you still need to practice every day (some days are better than others). And so it is with creating a positive balance with your money. As a musician’s state of being determines what kind of music comes out of their instrument, it is no different with money. Most of your results around money, good and not so good, are a reflection of what is happening in your inner world.
Who do you choose to be with money?
When you look at the structure of how anything is built, you start with the foundation. In the case of you and money, that foundation is based on who you are around it, as money itself is an inanimate object. Its power comes from what ever meaning you choose to imbue it with. Notice the word “choose”, which is very important to recognize as you always have a choice as to how you are going to feel and act with money.
While the economy finds its equilibrium, it’s imperative you stay focused on your own goals and maintain a positive balance. Are you living your life based on your values? And how well do you use your time, energy and money to reflect them?
I Need…. I Want
Take a look at your spending plan again. Ask yourself which expenses are “needs” and which are “wants”. Need = Must Have and Want = Would Like to Have. I never recommend that people live a “needs-based” lifestyle, as feelings of deprivation can be the root cause behind certain money issues that don’t serve you well; from Overshopping and Debting to Underspending.
When you feel deprived you may look to cover up feelings of emptiness inside yourself with such behaviors, locking yourself into a vicious cycle of overspending, debting and probably, overworking. When sitting on the fence as to whether something is a “want” or “need”, ask yourself these questions; “Is this just fillling a void in my life?” “Can I wait to purchase this?” While certain “things” might elevate you into a better state of feeling for a while, it might not have the same lasting effect as putting that money towards your retirement account, a project that holds importance for you or a shared experience with friends and family.
These days are particularly stressful so try to remain mindful of how you spend your time and energy. Be clear with yourself about what and who matters in your life and remember that maintaining a positive balance comes with daily practice.
About The Author: Helen Kim is a Money Mentor. Her Free Ezine gives articles and tips as to how you can gain clarity around your relationship to money and start making conscious financial decisions, allowing you to grow not only your bank account, but your self. Subscribe for FREE by sending a blank email to: info@YourMoneyRelationship.com or at http://www.YourMoneyRelationship.com
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Think Positive All the Time
Sometimes you may feel like the world is against you and no matter what you seem to do nothing ever comes out the way you want it to. With all the stresses and strains of life during what are now difficult times it is understandable that you might find it difficult to feel positive about things but why don’t you opt for a change and see what happens.
Bringing a little bit of positivity into your life is a good thing and can help get you out of your depressed state. If you think negatively the chances are that only negative things will happen to you. It’s very important that you make sure that you have time to yourself. Try to get yourself organized at home and make a list of the things that you have always wanted to do but have never got around to doing.
If you can’t stand clutter and feel that this is draining your positivity then make an effort to tackle this head on and rid yourself of things that you don’t really use anymore. At the office do the same with your desk and have a sort out of your inbox at work. A clearer mind will help you think positively.
Surrounding yourself with positivity will be great for your well-being so get out the photos that make you smile, frame them and hang them up where you will see them. If flowers or plants make you happy buy some or dedicate some time to your garden so that you can see them through your bedroom or kitchen window. If the rooms in your home are a little drab then why not invest in some brightly colored throws to cheer the place up?
Do you wake you wake up on a Monday morning dreading to go to work? Is there anything you can do to cheer up your routine? Why don’t you set your alarm so you can wake up to your favorite song? When your alarm goes off why don’t you try jumping out of bed on the first ring and don’t press snooze. Have your breakfast and spend a little more time on your appearance. You will feel a lot better about yourself if you do.
Have a clear out of your closet and take a look at things that you don’t really like or feel comfortable wearing and throw them out. Try to smarten up the way you dress if you think this will make you feel more confident and positive. Spend more time ironing your shirts and why not try wearing cufflinks to make a statement about yourself. Cufflinks are great accessories that can turn even the dullest suit into a success. Take a look at your ties, do you think wearing a brightly colored tie might make you feel more positive?
If it’s a rainy day try not to let it get you down, instead tackle it head on and invest in a fun and colorful umbrella that will brighten up your day as well as passersby. If you enjoy listening to music and it makes you feel happy they why not invest in an Ipod or another Mp3 player that you can listen to on your way to work.
Adam English invites you to take a look at the latest wedding cufflinks offered at Cufflinks.co.uk. Specialists in novelty cufflinks, men’s unique gifts and accessories – you’re certain to find something to your liking.
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Student Paths – Having a positive attitude
“Real Story” writer Anjelica gives 3 tips on having a positive attitude for the new school year.
How To Stay Positive In A Negative World
The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today. Quote by, Charles W. Eliot
When life hands you a lemon, are you prepared to make lemonade? Try staying positive when everything around you is negative. It is essential for your health and well being. More importantly, the way you think, feel and act determines the outcome of your experience. So, why not make it a great experience by guiding your attitude toward one that is positive.
With the media always reporting doom and gloom all over the world, it is often difficult to see the good. So many times life puts you into such unexpected surroundings that must be dealt with to the best of your ability. It is never easy.
However, your feelings and thoughts are what determine whether you get through the day by having a positive experience, or a negative one. Your attitude is the key. Positive thoughts, feelings and actions may help you through many stressful situations.
When dealing with unexpected incidents, expressing a positive attitude would be more beneficial than a displaying a depressing one. Additionally, a positive attitude also initiates and builds up your confidence so that you can get through the difficult situation.
To offset a bad day, look inside yourself for the strength, courage, and energy that is necessary in dealing with any problems. Two of my favorite quotes by Noah St. John, Chief Instructor Rich Life Formula and the Success Clinic, fit perfectly here. They are,
1. When your opinion of your past, present and future tends to be positive, you will be happy. And,
2. When your opinion of your past, present and future tends to be negative, you will be unhappy.
Keeping these two quotes uppermost in your consciousness may help you to develop, or bring about more positive feelings. This is a good test to use so that you can live your life with happier results.
Enthusiasm and improving your physical, mental, and emotional spirit are big ways to boost your positive energy. Staying well, keeping your health, your mind, and your body in the best shape are other ways. They all have a lot to do with how your day goes.
For example, when you wake up with a low spirit and low energy from lack of enough sleep, it shows in your work – and your attitude. So take the opposite route and get the required number of hours of rest and sleep. Then your day becomes a more positive experience for you.
Never let challenging situations and problems effect you in a negative way. Negativity only adds fuel to the problem, heightens the difficulty, and makes the situation worse. Instead, maintaining an upbeat attitude creates major harmony and tends to help you through difficult or upsetting situations.
Three other negative behaviors that steal your time and energy, and cause harmful outcomes are worry, fear and anxiety. Never let either one take over any part of your thoughts. Instead, give your subconscious mind positive goals and successful images to work on.
Maintain an attitude of gratitude, and remember to thank God for all that you have now, and all that is to come. Your feelings and thoughts are what matter. And keeping a positive spirit works wonders.
Gerri D Smith apparel designer, creative writer helps women look good and feel even better. An educational resource and virtual boutique inspires women business owners, professionals, celebrities, entertainers, cruise travelers, and women who love to dress up. For fashion tips, wardrobe basics, inspirational lessons, and support, Subscribe to her Free monthly newsletter, and get a Free Special Report at, http://www.distinctive-elegance.com
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Positive Discipline, Positive Thoughts, And Contributing Positivity
In this article, I will be explaining the importance of, and how to improve positive discipline. And why it is so important to contribute as much positivity to the universe whenever possible.
We all have them, those negative thoughts that just seem to pop into our heads out of no-where at random. For me, this seems to happen the most while I’m driving. No matter how hard I try to stay positive and courteous when I’m on the road, my ego just LOVES to make that difficult for me. And this takes some strong positive discipline to overcome.
I understand why though. When I look back at past events in my life, I can find where these negative thought patterns and habits stem from. Most of the time, it’s conditioning from either the people I used hang around with, television shows I used to watch everyday, and music I used to listen too. That’s still embedded into my subconscious, which inevitably finds its way out from time to time.
But rather than getting angry and disappointed at myself, and trying to suppress the thoughts I’d like to change. I decided to look at them from a different point of view. I started doing my best to dismantle my ego, by letting myself know that this is just my own programming coming out, and it’s giving me an opportunity to fix it. Because the universe knows that my intentions are to solve these problems within myself, so it will put me in situations that will test me, and give me the opportunity to do it.
With the driving scenario, I notice that when my intentions are to remain positive and courteous on the road, that’s when I always seem to get tested the most. I’ll just happen to get cut off more, someone will drive really close behind me (A huge pet-peeve of mine), or someone will pull out right in front of me and make me hit my brakes, when they could have just waited a few extra seconds. All of these used to really work me up, and sometimes still do. But I’m getting a lot better at it, and my driving experience changes from something stressful, to something relaxing and calm when I don’t get angry. Funny thing is, I always seem to get to my destination faster as well.
This is just one scenario of course, my past programming is always coming out in all kinds of situations. But instead of trying to suppress it, which never works, I just change the thought from something that’s negative, into something that’s positive. Instead of thinking “Jackass! Stop driving like an idiot!” I think “Thank you for testing me, have a wonderful day and drive safe.” This change in thinking isn’t easy, it’s so tempting to think the opposite. It will take some discipline, but the results are worth it.
Because you can’t change what happened, and getting angry doesn’t solve anything. You have no idea what’s going on in that persons world, so you might as well not let it affect you and put a negative impact on your day. Once you start to get into the habit of doing this, it’s only a matter of time until you’ve reprogrammed your mind into it being permanent. And you will literally see how it not only changes your own reality for the better, but for everyone else as well. The universe responds in a powerful way in your efforts to improve yourself.
Seeking to Contribute Positivity
Looking at the current condition on the planet, I think it’s quite obvious that the negative is outweighing the positive. Everywhere you go, people seemed to be weighed down by excess drama, anger, fear, stress, and anxiety. Most people seem to always be judging others, instead of trying to improve the situation. This is why trying to do your best to contribute some positivity to the world, is not just important, but is absolutely necessary.
This can be done in everyday situations, in so many simple ways. It doesn’t matter how small it is, to the whole, it contributes A LOT more than you might think it does. And the more you do it, the more you will notice it.
For example, men, if you’re at a guests house, and you see that the garbage can in the kitchen is overflowing, take it outside for them. Hold the door open for the person behind you. Do the dishes after your woman cooks you a meal, and thank her for it. If you see someone trip and fall, help them up instead of laughing at them. Help an elderly woman with loading her groceries in her car. Let someone in front of you in a traffic jam.
This is only just few ideas, if you’re a little shy at first, then just smile and say hi to a stranger. Anything helps, and nothing is too small. Every little bit of positivity helps A LOT, and is so needed in the world right now.
You don’t need to try and force a situation where you can help. I find that when I have a mind-set like “I’m going to help someone today” then it doesn’t seem to happen as often. Instead, just let it be your intention in general, and then just go on with life as you normally would. You will find that, the opportunities were always there, but you were just unaware of them. Or social conditioning made you blind and ignorant to them. Your intention to contribute, will be known to the universe, and it will put you in situations where you can help. You don’t need to force it.
Now get out there, and help make the world a happier, less stressful place to live.
Sean Burrows loves to learn and discover new ways to improve the quality of peoples lives. He studies personal development and health rigorously and is the developer and author of:
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TEDxBloomington – Shawn Achor – “The Happiness Advantage: Linking Positive Brains to Performance”
Shawn Achor is the winner of over a dozen distinguished teaching awards at Harvard University, where he delivered lectures on positive psychology in the most popular class at Harvard.
His research and lectures on happiness and human potential have received attention in The New York Times, Boston Globe, The Wall Street Journal, as well as on NPR and CNN Radio, and he travels around the United States and Europe giving talks on positive psychology to Fortune 500 corporations, schools, and non-profit organizations.
Achor graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with a BA in English and Religion and earned a Masters degree from Harvard Divinity School in Christian and Buddhist ethics.
Now he is the CEO of Aspirant, a Cambridge-based consulting firm which researches positive outliers-people who are well above average-to understand where human potential, success and happiness intersect. Based on his research and 12 years of experience at Harvard, he clearly and humorously describes to organizations how to increase happiness and meaning, raise success rates and profitability, and create positive transformations that ripple into more successful cultures.
In Shawn’s TEDxBloomington presentation, he says that most modern research focuses on the average, but that “if we focus on the average, we will remain merely average.” He wants to study the positive outliers, and learn how not only to bring people up to the average, but to move the entire average up.
www.goodthinkinc.com
About TEDx In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TED has created a program called TEDx. TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. Our event is called TEDxBloomington, where x = independently organized TED event. At our TEDxBloomington event, TEDTalks video and live speakers will combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events, including ours, are self-organized.
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Positive Eye Habits
A proverb says that the eyes are the window to a person’s soul. What kind of soul can be perceived then if the beholder doesn’t have clear eyes? The following are helpful tips on how your eyes can reflect the beauty of your soul.
Nowadays most of the people are suffering from bad vision irrespective of the age and sex. There are so many reasons for this cause. Symptoms for poor eye sight include blurred vision and pain.Most commonly observed symptoms are – Poor vision,Unable to read properly,Redness and Pain and itching.
Eye muscles behave in the same as other body’s muscles; the more they are put to use in an exercise, the mightier they become. They also require nutrients and constant care to provide a good vision. There are a few strategies to better your eyesight.
If we want to improve our vision naturally, we firstly need to find the cause for our eye problem. In most cases, our poor eyesight is due to bad habits, which will make our eyes under stress most of time and finally lead to eye problem. So the first point is to develop positive eye habits.
Always be cautious when you are doing things to your face such as applying makeup that you do not touch your eyes directly. Another problem with cosmetics is that they tend to be germ infested after awhile and run the risk of causing infection to your eyes.
Give eyesight exercises a spot in your daily routine. People generally overlook the fact that your eye muscles are just that, a muscle, and respond just as any other muscle does to proper exercising, or lack thereof.There are some incredibly easy eyesight exercises which actually provide a benefit which glasses and contacts do not.
Potato is very effective home remedy in curing mild eye problems. Placing potato slices over the eyes for 10-15 minutes, removes tired looks from the eyes and restores the glow.Inflammation and swelling of the eyes can be reduced by simply placing used tea bags over them for half an hour.
Put on glasses only when you need them. The idea here is to lessen your dependency on glasses as if it were an addiction. One way to get started is to imagine what would you do if you didn’t have your glasses?
Get a healthy diet specifically dealing with enhancing your eyesight. For example, omega-3 fatty acids found in fish is good for maintaining your brain and eyesight. Also try resisting the temptation to eat unhealthy food like sugar.
Keep your eyes shaded from harmful UV rays. Buy yourself a stylish pair of sunglasses and don’t stay out in the sun for an extended period of time without them. If you or someone you know welds, make sure they were #14 filters to do so or they will regret it later on in life.
Take several breaks throughout the day where you close your eyes for at least five minutes. It takes five minutes for the photo receptors in your eyes to regenerate. But this process requires total darkness.
Put your index finger in front of your eyes and concentrate fully on it. Just as you are concentrating on the index finger, try to view things which lie a little far away, and repeat the exercise at least 20 times, if not more.
Keep in mind the above eyecare tips and enjoy a healthy and clearer vision.
Explore more hair care also read aromatherapy bath and swimming lessons for adults
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Focus on the Positive
If you look around you and observe all of the various aspects of modern life, you will realize something phenomenal. Every invention, every object in the man-made world originated in a person’s mind before entering the physical, tangible world. Its incredible to understand that everything around us has been invented or improved by someone at some point in history. When you think about what you have accomplished in your life (and what you have failed to accomplish), you will realize that everything began as a dream or was imagined as thought in your mind a long time ago.
In other words, what we are trying to say is that your very thoughts helped create the circumstances of your life. You have probably heard the phrase,” you become what you think about.”
We believe there is great truth in that statement, and furthermore, we believe that your thoughts will to a great extent determine your ultimate success or failure in life. You may find this idea strange or reject it as some crazy new age idea or metaphysical abstraction. Well, we won’t inquire into a discussion about metaphysics or abstract philosophy.
What we will do, however, is simplify this concept and demonstrate why it is really a matter of common sense. You see, unsuccessful and unhappy people constantly focus on the problems they currently have, and they then try to blame these problems on everyone else but themselves.
Flourishing people, on the other hand, spend most of their time thinking about what it is they want to achieve. In other words, failures are problem-oriented, while successful and happy people are solution-oriented. No one will claim that there are no difficulties in life, and many people face serious challenges on their way to achieving goals. The issue is whether these obstacles will in the end serve as a obstruction or a positive challenge for the person who is trying to achieve certain objectives.
When you think about it in this manner, it becomes pretty clear why you become what you think about. It is not simply that your thoughts somehow magically transform into riches, as if your mind could physically manifest a pot of gold or some other wild imagination. Rather, what we are trying to say is that your thoughts will ultimately determine your actions. Focusing on your problems most of the time will keep you from seeing the solutions that are often right in front of you.
Jacob Lumbroso is a world traveler and an enthusiast for foreign languages, history, and foreign cultures. He recommends http://restaurantequipmentparts.org/ for anyone looking to buy restaurant equipment parts.
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