I am the only child for my parents and was pampered well in my family. Not sure how, I picked up a bad temper in my child hood. I used to be a jerk and hurt the feelings of my friends and family many times. I didn’t realize what I was doing until I read a story in my tenth grade. This story had a great impact on me and helped me to understand that a verbal wound caused by anger/ temper is as bad as a physical wound caused by a knife. Today, I want to share this story with you.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. On the first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.

He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than hammering the nails into the fence. Finally, the day came when the boy did not lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and his father suggested that he pull out a nail each day he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the fan and led him to the fence. He said “You have done well, my son by holding your temper. But, look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, you leave a scar like the hole in the fence. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say sorry, the wound is still there”.

When I read this story, I flash backed to my child hood and thought of all the incidents when I had hurt the feelings of others. I was really ashamed of my behavior and apologized to each one I hurt knowing that I could only alleviate the pain of the wound and burden of my guilt but cannot remove the scar.

Today, after years of practice, I could say that I am very conscious of my attitude and have been quite successful in dealing complex situations without hurting the people involved most of the time. Here are some of the ways you can develop a very healthy attitude (control your anger) and have long lasting enriched relationships ( family and business)

1. I always try to remember the story above when I have a strong urge to blast off. It really helps me to look at the situation from a different perspective and cools me down for the moment. Similarly, You can create a mental picture of an incident and its repercussions that happened in your life ( when you were either an victim of some one’s temper or you had verbally wounded someone) and had a deep impact on you.

2. Invest some time and effort in personal development. If you are reading this article, you sure are investing and are on the right track. Every time you invest into Personal development, you are increasing your mental and emotional strength required to handle the curves life throws at you. A person who has high level of emotional and mental strength will either not panic or lose temper during stressful times as he understands the simple fact that how you treat others is a true reflection of how you treat your self.

3.Understand that there is no such thing as constructive criticism. Sometimes, we do either criticize or get frustrated with the person involved ( for example, kids) for their actions. Unknowingly, we might hurt them. It is important we understand others perspective and be patient with them. Patience is a virtue and should be practiced diligently. Always expect the best to happen with strong faith and enduring patience.

4. Practice some form of meditation for at least fifteen minutes a day. For starters who are not used to meditation, take some time out for yourself and relax . This simple exercise would release the stress/anxieties accumulated within and rejuvenates you.

And there are many more ways to maintain a healthy attitude in life . In this article, I have listed the ones that I have been using diligently to maintain a healthy attitude towards others.

In a nut shell, you can have a positive attitude towards others by simply being very conscious of the fact that the words you speak reflect your attitude and can be used to either add value or to hurt others. The choice is yours. The good news is that you can be in total control of your attitude and develop life time relationships by taking simple steps as mentioned in this article.