Tag Archives: Help
Screw Positive Thinking! Where Self Help Goes Terribly Wrong
It is the battle cry of the self-help faithful. ” I am focusing on the positive!” There could never have been a dumber idea presented to the world. Yet all of us do it at one time or another. Let me give you a suggestion that might seem a bit revolutionary….
SCREW POSITIVE THINKING! It is stupid and destructive.
“But Tom…. Positive thinking makes me feel good.” Why yes it does and that is exactly the problem. A person using the excuse that they need to feel good in order to get through the day is crap. It allows you to avoid all your problems but….what really happens is that the problems are still there and you are just building a defensive wall out of a fragile house of cards that one day will crumble when something happens that makes it impossible for you to avoid a problem.
Don’t worry! Then some well-meaning idiot therapist will give you a pill to boost you mood even more. After you acclimate to that they will kindly up your dosage to you can hide even better from the problem. Just like Old Faithful you can count on one thing for sure…sooner or later you will erupt.
I call this the denial circuit. Last week Dr Ken was in town and we were mapping out the behavioral circuits of the brain. We came across and interesting discovery. Once we tap into the denial circuit we get even more creative about our excuses because that circuit taps directly into the creative part of the brain. It allows you to better ignore the problem and then rewards that by making you feel even better about ignoring the problem. It is a cycle that keeps going until you run into a wall.There is a free video on the top left corner of this site.
SSRIs make that even worse because they boost the chemicals in the brain that make you better able to ignore the problems and they make you feel good about doing it.
Then the dam bursts.
Why does this happen? It is simple. You can only squeeze so much feel good out of your brain before it reacts and the feel good chemicals can’t keep up anymore. When that happens you hit the wall and there is no escape. At that point you have a few choices. You can check yourself in for a free stay and the loony bin. You can curl up into the fetal position and waste away. My choice is this. You can choose to face your problems and solve them!
The problem with hiding from your problems is that the part of the brain that rewards your hiding also has no movement attached to it. You are just sitting in neutral with good feeling and no motivation to move. There is no access to the part of the brain that initiates movement. So nothing really changes other than you feel ok about being screwed up.
Yes I know this sounds nuts. Actually growing and learning sounds crazy when it is easier to just ignore. Yes it is easier to take magic pills, go into denial or just drink and drug yourself into oblivion. One thing I can guarantee is that sooner or later the eruption will occur. You will have to face the problem you have been ignoring. There is no hiding from it.
What can you do? The first thing is to make some personal changes that allow you to handle adversity instead of hiding from it. I think the 3D Mind is the best process for that. The reason I think so is that it balances the way the brain works. This is not some therapeutic junk where we examine your past. It is an actual brain exercise that helps your brain think in a new way. It shows you how to create and have movement all at the same time so that you address your issues quickly so that they never have a chance to erupt into huge problems.
OK I know… you have one of the ten thousand self-help books out there that tell you that being positive is powerful. Sorry… they are all wrong. No exceptions. No compromises.
The happiest people I know do not focus on only the positive things in life. They just deal with problems very quickly. They are creative and move quickly to solve problems, instead of focusing on where there are no problems. If you want to be one of these people then there are a few things you are going to have to do.
1. List your favorite excuses.
2. Pick one excuse.
3. What does that excuse allow you to avoid?
4. How would it feel if you could not avoid it?
5. Use your favorite self-improvement process that does not just make it easier to avoid those feelings.
Tom Vizzini http://www.essential-skills.com
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Self Improvement Tips – Great Self Improvement Tips That Will Help You Achieve Your Dreams
Self improvement tips are a great way to lay the foundation for your personal growth and to push yourself to new levels of achievement and fulfillment. If you are someone who is interested in personal development and personal growth, you are probably always in search of effective strategies for stimulating growth. Self improvement tips are meant to help you cut off pessimism and bring back the optimism that you need in your life. Understand that life is a rollercoaster of emotions – there are times when you feel like you are on top of the world while there are also times you feel like the whole world is against you. But most of the time, you feel like you are somewhere in between.
Self improvement tips are necessary for each person in order for them to recognize the areas in which they are lacking behind, especially with the perfectionist who does not see himself or herself as having any faults. Accepting one’s faults and developing a self improvement program is not a sign of weakness but rather a submission that you are accepting change within yourself to allow you to become a better person.
The most important of the self improvement tips that you must learn is to accept that you are not infallible and that being less than perfect is not a reflection on your status in life or the person that you have become. The self improvement program you develop for yourself should contain all of your weaknesses that you have identified individually or with the help of self improvement tips from others. Detailing this information and the implementation of a program of improvement should allow for a better understanding of these areas in need of improvement and address the dangers of feelings of superiority perfection within both the business and personal arena of your life.
It does happen that there are times when you tend to focus on the things that you have done wrong. But instead of doing that, self improvement tips will help you focus on the things you did right so that you can do those things again and indulge in self improvement. Try to have a change of scenery and the best way of doing this is to change your environment. There are times when you really need to get away from things that remind you of your failures. That way, you will be able to focus all your energy towards achievement.
Discover Great Self Improvement Tips Here
How Jedi Mind Tricks Can Help Your Writing
I have been looking for Obi-Wan Kenobi for some time now. My search for a Jedi master has all but failed me. I found well dressed look-a-likes, bizarre Jedi-wannabe’s who turned out to be 35-year-old unemployed men living with their mothers while honing their light saber skills in a damp basement. Battery operated plastic light sabers and Jedi guides printed from the internet could offer me no assistance. I was searching for the real thing.
Why do I need a Jedi Master, you ask? I am in search of the secrets of George Lucas, the Jedi Master of Writing and I thought, if anyone could help me find those skills, well, Obi Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn come to mind instantly. And as they obtained those secrets for me-the secrets of great story telling and unrestrained ambition-I thought they could also use some of their power on me. You know, just a few Jedi mind tricks to help me stay focused. I wrote some of them down for that fateful day Obi and I meet face to face.
You are an amazing writer.
This book will be published.
You will work at your craft at every opportunity you get.
You will write consistently several times a week.
You will read and research to gain more knowledge-always sharpening your skills.
You will never give up on yourself because your talent is God-given.
Mere words, yes, but in the hands of a Jedi Master, those words have great power! Even as I read over them again, my faded, folded too many times and shoved in my back pocket list, I can feel the strength they want to have. But my timid words don’t hold the “force”fulness I need and crave. I need Obi Wan to stand before me, waving his mystical hand in front of my eyes and saying in his slightly Scottish voice (the Ewen McGreggor Obi Wan of course), “You are an amazing writer.”
In my desperation, I tried those Jedi mind tricks on myself, all the while knowing I did not possess the Force nor have I had any Jedi training. I did read something though in Proverbs 18:21 that gave me a little more confidence. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (NIV) So I stood in front of my bathroom mirror with my list and waved my hand in front of my eyes while reciting, “You are an amazing writer… You will be published… You will never give up on yourself because your talent is God-given.” A funny thing happened. I felt better.
So the next morning, I pulled my list out, waved my hand in front of my face and read those words again. During my lunch break, I pulled a book out of my bag and began searching through the chapters. It was a book on how to become a better writer. When I finished a long, tedious day, I turned on my laptop and skimmed through a few chapters of an upcoming title I had written a few weeks ago. I continued my Jedi mind tricks, eventually losing the hand movement and found that the more I said those things, the more I believed them. The more I acted on them. I was beginning to act like a writer, writing several times a week and even taking notes and listening to what other writers were saying around me.
The power of life and death are in my words! I didn’t need a Jedi Master, I just needed to believe in who God created me to be! I am a writer, an amazing writer, who works on her craft at every chance she gets, writes consistently, reads and researches and refuses to give up on herself because her talent is God-given. I have written these words on my bathroom mirror in dry erase marker to remind me of those things. Just as Jedi mind tricks are only temporary-I have to constantly renew my mind. I have to remind myself who I really am as there are those (The Sith) who desire to weaken my resolve.
I no longer seek my Jedi Master, no longer search for Obi Wan Kenobi or Qui-Gon. I have become my own Jedi writing master, if you will. What are the words you need to be saying to yourself as a writer? Write down those thoughts that need to be said back to you-whatever they may be-and write them on your bathroom mirror, tape them to your walls or your computer monitor. Speak those words of writing life over you. Become your own Jedi Master and may the writing force be with you!
Kristen Eckstein is an avid marketer, book publishing coach, and the author of three books. Find out which publishing option is right for you! Grab your free audio and fun quiz at http://www.iampublished.com
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Attitude Change: Positive Affirmations Can Help
Are you the type of person that has that view on life that nothing ever works out for you? Keeping this type of mindset can actually keep you into a non-ending cycle where things actually work against you. Positive thinking can be beneficial to actually turning your life into how you want it to be. You have probably heard this before, and it is true, attitude really is everything. And until you have an attitude change your life, and how you see things, will remain as they are now.
Our very being is affected by our attitude. The majority of people fail to realize this. Underestimating how your attitude affects every aspect can create problems in your life, and in the lives of people you love.
If someone constantly believes that nothing will work out is caught in a cycle of negative thinking. What you think on the most, and what you speak out loud, will usually come to pass. That is why positive affirmations can work wonders for someone wanting an attitude change. Speaking positive sayings out loud, every day, can bring positive results in your life.
There are many people that will tell you these affirmations do not work. They will as long as you do them correctly. One reason why positive affirmations do not work for some people is many people tend to cancel them out by negative thoughts or words. If you say a positive affirmation such as that all famous one, “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better”, yet constantly walk around saying negative things that counteract that saying, “I can’t do anything right”, well you cancel the positive one out.
The trick to changing your attitude through positive affirmations is to put them out there and constantly believe that it is true and then they will finally come to pass. Many people want that miracle overnight, it doesn’t happen this way. It takes a constant perseverance of belief that whatever you claim to happen, will. In time, it will finally come to pass.
An attitude change can make a difference regarding everything about your life. Keep believing good things will happen and they finally will. If you have a negative attitude about things, that’s how they will be. Many times when things are going wrong in our life a little attitude adjustment might be just all we need to turn things around.
If you are looking for information on attitude change, click on the link. Or you can visit http://www.parisalaw.com/
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