Tag Archives: Life
What Are The Best Self Improvement Tips For Planning A Fun-packed Life
As the author of The Last Year of Your Life and the founder of The Last Year of Your Life 52-week Experience, I have written a series of short articles to answer the many questions I get asked about how to live your life to the fullest.
In this article I answer a question that I get asked a lot, and that is, ‘Is it really possible to determine that you are going to have the most fun year of your life?’
You may have heard me say or read one of my other articles where I say that the purpose of The Last Year Of Your Life is to do two things:
1. To bring out what is most special and unique about you so that you can create your legacy.
and 2. to have the most fun you can possibly have in one year’s time.
Those are the goals that we are going to try to accomplish for you and with you during The Last Year Of Your Life. This is what our empowerment coaching will help you achieve.
So how do you set out to have the most fun year of your life? Well, simply stated, it is a mindset.
You have to decide that this is going to be the most fun year that you have ever had in your life,
and you arrange your schedule, and you plan out the things that you do during the year so that you make that happen. You plan how to live life to the fullest.
For example, you may have seen all the free videos I made to answer people’s questions about The Last Year Of Your Life experience, and to include some of my self-improvement tips.
Well, I shot all those videos while I was on a vacation/business trip on the gorgeous island of Kauai. I planned it out so that I would go there on a vacation,
shoot the videos for the marketing and promotion of The Last Year Of Your Life, and sell some butter too. (You may know that I am a world famous gourmet butter purveyor.)
And it worked out perfectly. By the end of that trip I had a new butter client (the entire St. Regis Princeville Resort not bad!) as well as all my promo videos, and got to spend 7 days swimming in the gorgeous warm waters of Hanalei Bay, HI.
That is my idea of a great time. Swimming in the ocean and vacationing in world class resorts is just fine with me anytime I can get it!
So I turned the best most fun vacation into a profit center as well. Taking part in our Executive life coaching can do that for you too.
And that is what you do in The Last Year Of Your Life.
You decide that you are going to live your life with a mind towards planning out fun things, and then it’s just a matter of the details. You live the benefits of empowerment.
Because unless you plan these things out, they willl not happen.
Having the best and most fun year of your entire life does not happen by accident.
Having the best and most fun year of your life is something that you have to create for yourself.
I have been Living The Last Year of Your Life for the past three years now and it has been the most incredible experience in my life.
I know that you’ll get a lot out of it too, and I want you to do it because in The Last Year of Your Life, anything is possible.
Clint Arthur is the author and program leader of The Last Year Of Your Life a 52-week self empowerment and life purpose coaching experience.
Participants live as if they only have 52 weeks left to live.
This gives a sense of urgency and power to stop procrastinating and see self improvement and motivation levels soar.
Empower your life and start living life to fullest possible.
http://www.TheLastYearOfYourLife.com offers free video, audio, and written training materials. Anything is Possible.
Tips to stay Happy and Positive in life
Positivity in life is a trait that needs to be mastered than acquired by birth. You need constant investment in yourself and your thoughts to stay Positive and Optimistic. Happiness does relate to positivity and goes a long way to help you become a happy person. Happiness is in thoughts, its in our mind that comes out and shows up in many forms. A happy person is always happy no matter what the situation is and it has significant amount of impact on his conduct, actions, health and outlook towards life. It is like releasing the venom inside your mind and giving way to thoughts that makes us nothing but happy.
Read more on How to Stop Worrying and How to manage Phobias and How to make Love
Tips to stay happy
1. Take time to acknowledge personal accomplishments and celebrate success in a manner that can strengthen relationships. Keeping good social and personal relations are very effective means avoiding stress.
2. Take good care of yourself. When you feel good, you also feel good and vice versa. Love yourself each day. Tell yourself ‘I love you’ and give yourself a hug everyday.
3. Wear a smile everyday, compliment at least one person in the day, greet people, and take each day as the first day of the rest of your life. Do something new every day or as often as you can.
4. Practice self-help methods, like writing journals, being passionate about work, taking on some hobbies, improving social life by meeting up with friends and relatives.
5. Figure out your fun quotient of the day.
6. Avoid procrastinations and perfectionism.
7. Eat healthy and exercise regularly. For this, all one needs to do is wear one’s exercise shoes and step on one’s treadmill for a few minutes or even better, jog on beautiful beach side.
8. Avoid addictions or any such risk-driven activity.
Here is some food for thought:
1. Be assertive instead of being aggressive.
2. Control anxiety by identifying one’s irrational thoughts and beliefs and rectifying them.
3. Instead of cribbing, accept loss gracefully and move on with life.
4. Replace low self-esteem with good-self image by always choosing to think positive, strengthening your talents and learning from your mistakes.
5. Overcome ‘boredom’ with introduction of changes and passion in life.
6. When feeling sad or low, you can have an attitude towards good thingsof life, and observing how you are better compared to some others who are not.
Do not base your happiness solely on material possessions. Learn how to be happy from within. Focus on the good things in your life, like your health. Develop a sense of well-being from within. Don’t live with the attitude of greed or excess. There is enough for everyone. Give away things that you don’t need that are still valuable and can be used by other people. Become earth friendly and recycle. Become more connected to your environment and community. Take care of yourself and others.
Create affirmations and get in touch with your God centeredness. Utilize what you have to create wealth. Avoid negative people who constantly talk about the recession and enjoy being miserable. Bless these people with love and be on your way. Connect with like minded people. This is how you will stay happy and positive during the recession.
Read more on How to Stop Worrying and How to manage Phobias and How to make Love
How to Become a Better You With a Positive Attitude on Life
Everyday fun, happiness, enjoyment needs to be incorporated into your daily life. Watching the sunrise from the top of a mountain after an early morning walk on a weekend tramp might not be everyone’s idea of an adrenalin rush, but if it’s what you enjoy, you need to ensure you’re doing it in your life. You are unique, there’s no one in the world like you and it’s up to you to become yourself.
You have to feel positive and have a positive attitude to want to engage in some of these things. If you don’t you decide it’s easier to stay in bed or slouch around home and your attitude becomes more and more negative about your life. I know, I’ve had to learn and now teach others through my attitude training.
Your life is about fulfillment and enjoyment and it’s your choice to include this into your life. Maybe it’s the beach, or forest, temple, church, mosque, or golf course where you experience tranquility and a sense of inner peace. You need to discover it as well as your ideal relationship, job, financial and lifestyle choice on your journey to become yourself,
When you have a goal, target, intention or mission in life, you have a sense or urgency in life and an ‘energy’ to achieve. You are more motivated and enthusiastic about life.
At the beginning of each year, it’s a good idea to think back to the previous year and what you didn’t achieve. However, if you’ve missed doing it then, anytime you start Is the perfect time for you. If you’re struggling with achieving your goals you need to analyse why. Here are a few possible reasons.
1 Did you need to do some ‘background’ work first and was working towards achieving those goals.
Some big goals require a series of small goals (the background work) to be achieved before achieving the ‘big final goal’. That’s great because each step is progress in the right direction. I.e. To run a marathon you may have needed to lose weight and improve your diet to give you stamina.
2 Did you lose motivation?
When you’re working towards achieving a goal, it’s important it is what YOU really want. If someone else who wants you to run a marathon to join them, you’re less likely to be motivated. You could be feeling you ‘should’ do it to keep them happy. However in the process, you are making yourself unhappy. This is a common challenge with many people. In some instances it feels easier to ‘go with the flow’ rather than cause a disagreement. It’s not an intentional cop-out of being responsible for your own life, it is that the person is lacking the personal development skills, communication, self-esteem and knowledge, about how to break the cycle, of being kind to others versus being kind to themselves.
3 Were you afraid of losing friend because you were changing your life?
In the process of working towards a goal, you are experiencing change. If losing weight is your goal, the people who you might have gone on social outings with, may encourage you NOT to change. The liked you ‘as you were’. When you choose to become healthier, the decision to change is your choice. However, your associates are having change forced upon them. Your weekly routine may have included two visits to a local restaurant, which serves ‘unhealthy’ food. Now you don’t wish to go, but instead visit the gym. They are lonely and forced to accept your decision. Rather than be pleased that you wish to address your health issues, they encourage you to remain as you are, because it suits them. So remember when you are unique and learning to become yourself, it’s important to learn to become yourself, which in this example is fit and healthy.
However, don’t be dismayed about losing a friend, new people will enter your life as you continue to make positive changes
4 Did you change your goal?
Not achieving because you’ve changed your mind is great. You weren’t on track with the right goal. Now you have the opportunity to refocus the next year.
You want to achieve your dreams and live the life you want as early in your life as possible. Some people seem to have the knack of achieving it early in life, for others it takes longer and some people never achieve it. You want to eliminate the zigzagging through life to find fulfillment and happiness, you want to zero straight towards your dreams. For some people, it may even be discovering what your own dreams are, because you’ve been caught up in other people’s dreams.
If you understand your values, beliefs or rules for your life, you will set goals that will be specific to your dreams and desires. By that I mean there’s’ a WIIFM what’s in it for me. eg. If a health related goal involves losing weight and building stamina for your marathon, the additional benefits you may experience might include: more vitality, looking good, feeling attractive, opportunity to modernize self-image, purchase new clothes, sense of achievement, increased enthusiasm about life, and more energy to include new activities in life. All of these factors raise your levels of enthusiasm towards achieving your goals.
Often you’ve never thought about your values, so when you’ve been setting goals they’ve been contradictory to who you are and what you believe. In your goal to be yourself it’s important you take time to assess your values as step one. Then as you start setting your goals, every one needs to be aligned to your values. Failure to do so will inevitably mean failure of your goals because of inner conflict. Eg. You want to be healthy, but you continue to smoke. Decide what you want and overcome the challenges to achieve it. You’ll feel much better about yourself and life when you’re working towards and achieving your goal.
Here are ten tips that will assist with your goals, intentions or target setting for your Keeping your attitude positive as you create your dream life.
10 Tips towards achieving MAGIC in your Life
1. Take time to daydream and write down or draw your goals.
2. Created your MAGIC from your right brained creative thinking (the first thing to come to your mind)
3. Use your left analytical side of your brain plan out HOW to achieve it.
4. Understand that you will be challenged and it’s okay to ask for help.
5. Visualise achieving your goal.
6. Be prepared to make sacrifices and changes.
7. Take the risk and enjoy life as you’re achieving
8. Value your health, have fun, laugh and love along the way.
9. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
10. Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself constantly.
In your quest to be yourself you will be challenged. The opportunity to be you is exciting, scary and even daunting for some. It takes personal growth, understanding, communicating, and overcoming fear, courage and knowledge to align your mind body and soul, or mental thinking, physical direction and spiritual self to work together harmoniously. When they do you’ll find fulfillment, happiness, love for yourself and others, and inner peace. It’s a great way to live. You may need to attend courses, read books, ask questions and be open to learning. Across your path will come signals about which path to follow. It’s up to you and your free will to make your choice and enjoy the ride. The fabulous thing is you don’t need to conform to others. Here’s an example.
Some months ago I enjoyed a round of golf with my partner who has a very low handicap my seventy-four year old mother who is midway handicap and I’m ….a novice. I had a wonderful time, it was a beautiful walk, surrounded by lovely trees and bird life. Out of the hundred or more shots I played, maybe fifteen percent went in the direction I aimed and travelled a reasonable distance. Throughout my game, I replaced my ball on the nice pieces of grass and when my ball ‘flew’ over to another fairway, rather than disrupt the other people’s game, I explained I was new to the game, and rather than further disrupt them, could they please throw my ball back. They obliged. My mother was shocked! I will never make a golfer, my putting on my partners $ 500 putter was good (I’d practiced as a child up the hallway when we had family parties), so it was an enjoyable time….for me. I’m not sure my mother will play much golf with me unless she understands this if fun for me, not a serious game. However, I’ll go for a walk and pull my partners trundler and when I chose and when my we’re ready for a laugh, I’ll play a game of golf. However …if I chose to continue with golf, professional lessons will definitely benefit me and in that year I’ll include it in my goals. Meanwhile, it’s a lovely environment, good exercise, fun and enjoyable and that’s what golf is about for me. Good Luck with your journey to be uniquely you.
Janice Davies is The Attitude Specialist, who teaches people to be positive and empower themselves through Attitude Training. As a Professional Speaker, Success Coach and author Janice educates people at conferences, workshops and through books. Janice is the founder of the global movement International Self Esteem annual awareness day and features in the new True Happiness DVD. Janice has an online products featuring about attitude, goals, stress, happiness, relationships and more. Visit http://www.attitudespecialist.co.nz for other complimentary articles and tips.
Transitions in Life – Keys For Positive Transformation Through Change
Why is change difficult for so many? Why do we resist the constant flow of energy that propels us on our journey through life? And why is it when circumstances in life force us to change – we resist, fight and refuse the challenge?
You may think, “Oh that’s not my case, on the contrary, I love change and challenge.” Do you? That’s great but what about when a change happens that you don’t like. Are you one of the hundreds of thousands that have lost their home or job in the last year? Are you recently divorced after years of marriage? Do you find yourself in your senior years and not liking it? How are you handling these changes in your life? To choose change is one thing but when it is thrust upon you, it is vastly different. However, there are keys that can, and will, help you maneuver through these demanding moments, making them your best times of rewarding, transformative growth.
There are four essential keys to Positive Transformation through Change:
Acceptance without Judgment
Creating a Vacuum
Taking Action
Having Faith and Fun
The first key to success is acceptance without judgment. Before anything – you must accept whatever change has presented itself and not judge it to be either good or bad. Don’t judge the timing by saying whether you’re ready or not for the change. Placing a negative decree on the change will greatly influence your attitude and will block creative flow. Simple, childlike acceptance without judgment is the first tool to positive transformation through change. A child, when presented with change, simply and easily goes with the flow. There is no resistance. They naturally transition from crawling to walking to running to riding a bike to driving a car. Life situations move from one to the next in similar fashion. So the first tool for positive transformation through change is acceptance without judgment. Whatever is – is.
Change often includes loss – loss of a job or relationship or home. But loss, when let go of, creates space for receiving something new. So let it go. Why hang on? Take the opportunity to start fresh. Create a vacuum. Get rid of everything you’ve accumulated over the years that you really don’t need. Give it to a charity. Have a yard sale. Put an add on Craigslist. Move your stuff out. Get rid of the idea that you have to keep your job or the home. Let go and create empty space – a vacuum. That’s the next key to positive transformation through life change. Create a vacuum so that new things, ideas, environment and experiences have room to enter. Get free for a moment, back away from the woods to get an inspired perspective. Be curious about where you could live and how you can start over- even a new state or country. Be willing to adventure outside your comfort zone. Creating a vacuum will provide you with the space you need to move forward. Be thankful for your life and welcome any new healing and help that comes along.
Once you have accepted without judgment and created a vacuum that provides space for growth, you will then feel the freedom and courage to take action. Make a list of priorities, no more than six in any given day and commit to seeing them through. Set goals with a clear vision and set aside enough time in the day to make it happen. If you find that you have to move then perhaps one of your goals would be to contact a realtor for helping with the transition and another might be going through one closet – sorting and scaling down to the essentials. You may have several major fronts that need action simultaneously – don’t panic. Set aside one thing in each to accomplish and follow it through. Take action and commit to being consistent. Get organized with a plan that is workable.
The final key is to have faith and fun in the process. Be responsible but have faith that a new door will open, that opportunities will present themselves and that life energy is really on your side. Have an attitude open to the fun and exciting aspect of change and the freedom that a change can provide. Explore options, talk to your spouse and children about what is possible. Be creative! Change can be a catalyst for going back to school, a career change or moving to another state or even country. Life is full of adventure waiting for your participation. Invite your relationships to walk with you in your journey! Be happy, have faith and fun!
Transitions in life are gifts from the universe to help us out of stagnation. Transitions help you rediscover what you like and what talents you have to offer. Change and can help you reinvent yourself, giving you a second lease on life. So when a life altering situation comes up, welcome the opportunity with gratitude; accept it without judgment, create a vacuum, take action and have faith and fun. By using these keys you will find Positive Transformation through Change.
With a degree in Communications, JoAn has taught Business Communications and English classes at SIAS International University, in China. JoAn also studied multi-cultural communications and in addition to living in China and France, is also fluent in the French Language and Culture. She coaches and consults with those going through difficult life changes and helps structure positive Lifestyle habits – focusing on the various aspects of Wellness. Her approach to life is Wellness as a holistic concept. She is currently working on her first book, “Chopsticks” about overcoming the pain of divorce and reinventing yourself. The book is due out in the fall of 2009. Visit http://wealthyandwell.com/ where we are committed to bringing you the best resources to make your life Wealthier and Healthier.
How to Make Positive Affirmations Work in Your Life
Positive affirmations work. Period. They change lives. They displace negativity. They remove limiting beliefs. They open us to possibilities, change the way we view ourselves and create a happier, more forward thinking outlook. They’re extremely powerful and their accessible to everyone.
That doesn’t mean they work automatically, though. It’s entirely possible to try to utilize affirmations unsuccessfully. That generally stems from misunderstanding the process or not having a full sense of what makes the right kind of positive self-talk sufficiently powerful to overcome negative subconscious defenses. Here are a few pointers that can really take your affirmations to the next level.
First, retain credibility. You’re not going to experience the desired effect if your positive affirmations ring hollow on either a conscious or subconscious level. If the content of your affirming comments seems like pure fiction, the message just isn’t going to get through the way you’d like it to.
Second, be mindful of the power of repetition. It’s a key to successful affirmation. If you repeat a given affirmation once a week, it isn’t going to have the power or resonance of one used repeatedly every day. Remember, you’re trying to displace and reconfigure negative thinking that’s been part of your life for quite some time. That requires a consistency and frequency in your efforts.
Third, have a little patience. Rome wasn’t built in a day. The artifice of negativity that has unfortunate repercussions for your life wasn’t built in a day, either. You’re not going to tear it down in the course of a single week. Commit yourself to getting the job done and follow through with your positive self-talk for the long run. At some point (probably sooner than you might really think), you’ll notice a change coming over you.
Fourth, tone matters. You aren’t doing your affirmations out loud, but your internal “voice” has a tone of its own and you control it. If your affirmation is dripping with contempt or wrapped in sarcasm, it isn’t going to have the desired effect. If it’s desperate, angry or insincere, you can’t expect to experience a change. Use a sincere, forward, calm and clear voice when you deliver your positive affirmations.
You can change the way you think and feel. Positive self-talk is a great way to do it. You just need to engage in the activity with a knowledge of what makes the approach successful. That includes repetition, patience, credibility and the right tone.
So, you want to know more about positive affirmations. I strongly recommend this fascinating site that absolutely revolutionizes the process of using affirmations to create a more postive outlook on life. It makes the development of a positive outlook as easy as flipping a switch! If you don’t know about affirmation jingles and their potential, it’s time for you to take a look!
Want a More Positive Life – Use the Law of Attraction
One of the fastest ways to see the law of attraction in action is to be and feel more positive. When you are feeling positive you will appreciate all of the great things and people in your life, you will realize that your life is really not that bad and most importantly you will begin to attract many more positive situations and events into your life.
Positivity Tips
1. Act as if you are confident and happy – if you walk around with a scowl on your face day in and day out, it is obvious that not only will you feel miserable you will project a miserable vibration which in turn will attract more circumstances for you to feel miserable about. Therefore even if you are not feeling particularly confident or happy act as if you are. Walk tall, put a smile on your face, and when someone asks how you are tell them you are absolutely fantastic. Doing this will raise your vibration and help you have a more positive out look.
2. Live in the moment – the past is history so therefore there’s nothing you can do apart from accept it. Living in the past will only do one thing and that is have you relive your mistakes over and over again. Instead make a conscious effort to focus on the present. Take each moment as it comes and do your best to keep your mind fixed on the here and now. This will enable you to enjoy each precious moment of your life and force you to think about your words and actions more carefully.
3. Focus on what you want – it is very easy to join the masses who spend each and every day complaining about what they do not like about their lives. If you have been prone to this behavior, ask yourself this question, what has changed by you spending your time focusing on what you do not like? Most likely the answer is nothing has changed. So why not try something different? Spend your time focusing on the things that you like about your life, in time you will notice how much more positive you feel about your future.
4. Surround your self with positive influences – the law of attraction states that like attracts like so if you surround yourself with negative people and situations you will begin to emit the same sort of vibration. Instead focus on the positive, read inspirational material, spend time with positive or happy people and join online groups or social networks where positive people gather. Basically bombard your mind with positive information, the more you focus on the positive the easier it will be for you to begin to truly feel more positive.
By making these four simple changes to your day-to-day life you will begin to shift your focus, your words and your actions will take on a more positive tone. Doing so will raise your vibration level and enable you to attract the things that you really want into your life. Make the choice today to start being more positive, after all you have tried the other way, and nothing has changed in your life. Now is the time to do something different, now is the time to start over by making a commitment to living a positive focused life.
Carol King is an expert on the law of attraction and administrator of “Positive Thinkers For Life” a new and exciting social network created to inspire uplift, educate and motivate those who want to live a more positive life. Visit Positive Thinking and join this ever-growing network for daily positive inspiration.
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Why You Need Self Improvement and Motivation to Succeed in Life
Do you want to be successful in your life? If your answer is yes, then you will need self improvement and motivation in your life. Self improvement is something that allows you to learn and acquire new knowledge while motivation is the force and energy that will keep you going in your life.
In order to achieve your goals, live the kind of life you always dream about and be successful life, you need both self improvement and motivation. The determination to learn and the commitment to take the necessary action to make things come true are the 2 factors that will determine your success.
Unfortunately, most people lack both of them. For most people, they never read any books after they leave their student’s life. If a book can give you an idea of how you can improve your life and you read a book per week, what do you think will happen to your life? You will have read roughly 50 books a year and I can guarantee you that the knowledge you acquire from the books are enough to improve the quality of your life.
As for motivation, most people lack motivation and they never take any action even though they knew what they should do. For example, if you want to be rich, you know you cannot depend only on the income from your job; you need to create extra income. However, most people don’t have the drive or motivation to do it. Instead, they give lousy excuses such as they don’t have the time, they don’t have the money or they just don’t know how.
This is why you need to have both self improvement and motivation to succeed in your life. There are a lot of self improvement techniques out there. And the best way to learn them is by learning from someone who knows the proven method or system that can help you in achieving what you want in your life.
If you are not following through a proven system, you will never achieve what you want and improve your life. Always remember this; you will never reach north if you keep running east. So follow the proven system now and you will save yourself time and effort in learning the proven Self Improvement And Motivation techniques that really work.
Increase The Quality Of Your Life With Self Improvement
It is a well known fact that nobody is perfect in this world. Each one of us has some kind of flaws. There are many people who look at others and envy them and feel insecure. They think the other person is completely ideal but it is not the truth. Actually such people are suffering from low self-confidence and low self-esteem and are outrageously engrossed with the silent desperation. It is better not to cry over your failures, embarrassments, heartbreaks, and fears. Instead turn these things into the tools that will help you towards self improvement and success.
When success and self improvement becomes synonymous, what to do? Almost every person have experienced some sort of disappointment in their lives like diseases, broken marriages, business loss, unemployment, failure in examinations and so on. The first step towards self improvement is to take these disappointments as positive impacts. Instead of thinking it to be the end of your life, you must try to find a solution for it. It signifies that you must have positive attitude towards life. This will begin with healthy eating, exercising and being busy at your work. You should not allow stress to overpower you, your mind, your soul and heart.
Studies have shown that positive life attitude leads to better health and wealth. You know that improving ourselves means to continue improvement without any interruption. It is the key to personality growth, interior stability and finally success. Try to admire yourself and feel confident. It is all about understating your inner self and taking appropriate decisions in life. Self improvement means that you learn actually who you are and what you want to achieve. You just need to make positive and healthy alterations in your life style. These are some important and substantial reasons which say that self improvement is highly essential. Learn to love yourself and you will start loving others around you.
The following website, Awakened Minds, talks about how to grow yourself and achieve your goals on a post about Neuro Programmer 3.
More Self Improvement Tips Articles
Secrets to Get happiness and positive change in your life
Degree of your happiness level is like yo yo. Sometimes it’s up, but other times it’s down. Many things might give you temporary joy or positive emotions. However, after a while, you come back to baseline or lower. This article will give a solution by using the scientifically proven techniques to create lasting happiness and positive change in your life.
Positive psychology is the scientific study of optimal human functioning. Traditional psychology focused on fixing what was wrong with people. Positive psychology uses the scientific method to understand what is right with human beings and how to help the average person become happier and more fulfilled. In this article, I describe an important study conducted by the worlds eminent positive psychologists and how you can use this research to improve the quality of your life. It is important however to note that according to Dr. Martin Seligman, the founder of the field, positive psychology is a descriptive rather than a prescriptive science.
That is, researchers conduct studies on concepts prescribed in self-help, pop psychology, religion and of course, wisdom passed on from grandmas. Researchers do not prescribe writing a gratitude letter to someone. Instead, they run rigorous studies on the concept then report what they have found and how it works. This is a subtle and important distinction. My approach as a positive psychology based life coach, speaker and teacher is a bridge between the prescriptive and descriptive. I call it invitational. In this article, I share the research and invite you to try some of these scientifically proven happiness activities yourself. If the activity fits, wear it. If it does not, try another one on. One size does not fit all.
In 2005 researchers Martin E. P. Seligman, Tracy A. Steen, Nansook Park and Christopher Peterson published an article in American Psychologist, a peer reviewed academic publication, titled Empirical Validation of Interventions. This was an internet based study that with 411 participants across 6 interventions, or happiness building activities, over the course of one week. The activities included: writing down three blessings everyday, paying a gratitude visit, discovering your strengths, finding new ways to use your strengths and writing about yourself at your best. They were compared to a control group that wrote about their childhood experiences. All of these groups had their subjective happiness and depression levels measured, before the activity, immediately after and as far as six months after
All of these activities had a positive effect on increasing happiness and decreasing depression. The gratitude visit and writing about you-at-your-best worked immediately after the activity. However, by 6 months, the effects wore off. Writing about 3 blessings and using strengths in a new way also increased happiness and decreased depression. These effects lasted as far as 6 months later. Identifying one’s strengths only produced a moderate, short-term decrease in depression. A factor that influenced the lasting effect was that many people spontaneously continued doing the activities after the initial assignment.I know what you might be thinking. “Well duh Emilya! If I write about what I’m grateful for and use my strengths I’ll be happier. Does that really take 5 of the most eminent psychologists today to figure that out?”
In a way it did. For a while, psychologists believed in happiness set points- or that your happiness level is predetermined and trying to become happier is futile. This research proves that with concerted effort at well-crafted activities, you can significantly improve your happiness level. An interesting point about this study is that the control group, which wrote about early childhood memories, experienced a significant increase in their happiness level and decrease in their depression levels immediately after the intervention. These rates returned to baseline after a few months. This hints at the power of our own suggestibility.
The participants knew that the study they were participating in related somehow to happiness. They assumed it would have a positive benefit and it did. However, just like fad diets, the unhappiness comes back. We live in age where researchers are conducting studies on the positive side of the human experience. Simultaneously we live in a world where time is a hot commodity. If you plan to devote 15-30 minutes a day to increasing your happiness level, you want the highest return on your investment possible. I invite you to capitalize on the research by trying out activities that are proven to work, particularly if those activities align with your values and motivations.
Here are 3 invitations:
Discover and use your top strengths: There are many ways to go about doing this. The easiest is to ask yourself, “What do I do well?” Note that a strength, such as creativity, is different than a talent, such as being a good artist. Go to http://viacharacter.org/VIAClassification/tabid/56/Default.aspx to read about 24 well researched strengths and ask yourself which strengths resonate with me. You can take an online questionnaire at www.viacharacter.org to discover your top strengths. Once you know your strengths, use them. Recognize when they naturally come up throughout the day and find unique ways of approaching them. Online publications, such as “340 Ways to Use Your Signature Strengths” by Tayyab Rashid, PhD, exist to help in the creative process.
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude: Express gratitude in a way that is authentic for you. Some choose to keep a gratitude journal, others think about their daily blessings before they go to bed. In the aforementioned study, participants on wrote down 3 good things a day and experienced the benefits. As you write, reflect on ways that you have contributed to these positive things happening and how you can get more of these blessings in your life. Pay a gratitude visit by seeking out someone who has positively impacted your life. Write a letter to them thanking them for their contributions. Laminate it. Personally deliver and read it to them. Try and catch them off guard.
Think back to a time when you were at your best: Perhaps a time when you were you felt fully engaged, alive and complete. What were you doing? Who were you with? How did others react to you? What made this so memorable for you? What strengths of yours were you using? How did others receive you? Write the experience down and then reread it for a few days. Put it up in place where
Is writing down 3 blessings a day the ticket to “Happily Ever After?” I do not think so. After all, “Happily Ever After” is subjective. However, objective research supports that incorporating more happiness building activities into your life can increase your happiness level. It is not what happens to you that affects how you feel, it is your reaction and interpretation of the situation. Our day-to-day happiness depends on our day to day actions and habits. Cultivating positive habits such as these activities hold strong potential to increase the quality of your life.
Emiliya Zhivotovskaya, MAPP, RYT, is an international life coach, speaker and founder of Flourish, Inc., an organization dedicated to enabling individuals and organizations in unleashing their potential using positive psychology, yoga and alternative therapies.
A Few Wonderful Ways To Stay Positive At Work And In Life
I’d like to offer several practical ideas about staying positive. Nothing magical here, just a few simple ideas to help shape the way you think and feel every day. They apply equally well at work and home, though here I’ll focus more on the job. I could focus largely on your work tasks, but I would like to humanize work a bit by instead talking about you and the interpersonal aspects of your office life. To stay positive:
Bring all of you to the office
This involves the full spectrum of things that define you and make you smile: your attire, the music quietly playing in the background, the office décor – you name it. To constrict who you are at work to fit some “office acceptable” version of yourself requires energy. Energy is finite. Managing impressions is unavoidable, but over managing impressions to the point of losing the unique you at work is far worse. If you like loud ties, wear them. Ladies, if you have a penchant for ridiculous scarves, bring it on. Who cares if nobody other than you in the office likes Elvis Costello? Play it. In fact, spend a little non-work time and put together a few playlists – one for addressing any type of mood that might surface. And for heaven’s sake don’t be like the brain dead planners who designed your office. Why do they feel that gray or brown are motivational colors? Admit it, for most of you, the office is dominated by gray or brown. Weird. Your cube or office need not be. I indulge in Harley-related items (signs, mouse pad, etc.). For you it might be fishing or sports or origami, beats me, but make sure that aspect of you is represented. And add color – that should be a law. Preferably red. Make it a new lamp, phone, chair, something you stick on the shelf – who knows, just add red immediately.
Bring them to the office too
Them is all of the key people in life you love and spend time with. We spend far too much time at work, thus find a way to get them represented right there in your workspace. Bring pictures of the family, the girlfriend or boyfriend, the dog. My favorite recent additions are the framed pictures of my oldest son’s art doodles. He is very into Ben 10 (just Google it). He claims the doodles depict Ben doing all sorts of miraculous things. To me, they are merely funny lighthearted doodles. They make me smile and when he sees them in my office, his smile is even bigger. How about video or audio? I have clips of my wife and both boys on my cell phone and, yes, I do pull it out when in need of a quick smile or bit of perspective.
Have something to look forward to
When we have things to look forward to, what do we do? We survive by any means necessary until they arrive! Make sure you are never without something to look forward to. This does not have to be a lavish vacation or something terribly expensive. It can be as simple as the night later in the week when you have pledged to go home early to cook dinner for the family. For me, that is a real treat. For you that might be a nightmare, so what. Maybe it is the movie night coming up with your children, the cook out with your family friends or the date night with your significant other. Get it on the calendar and in your mind and reference it just when things get a little nutty at work.
Do something nice for someone
Yes, you need to keep focused on the wonderful “thing to look forward to” for yourself. However, it may surprise you just how good it feels to do something for someone else right now. If you have time, try volunteer work. Join the Rotary (I did). Great, but if you’re really strapped for time and money, you can still help others. There are abundant opportunities to do so at work every day. You have no excuse! Compliment someone personally. Maybe it is how they look that day. Maybe it is the fact that they are always positive. Maybe it is the fact that they are thoughtful enough every Friday to wish you a great weekend and every Monday to ask about your weekend. Compliment them professionally. Did they help you massage some data? Did they cover for you when you could not make the meeting? Were they there last week to offer you some needed input on a big decision? Tell them thank you – and be specific about why you are saying thank you. Crazy idea – help them back! It is amazing the wonderful feeling to be had from simply helping another person make it through the day a bit more smoothly.
Dr. Dewett is a nationally recognized leadership expert, professor, author, professional speaker and consultant specializing in all aspects of organizational life. As quoted in the New York Times, BusinessWeek, CNN, the Chicago Tribune, MSNBC and elsewhere. He is the author of Leadership Redefined. Podcasts, blog, free newsletter and more at http://www.drdewett.com Copyright 2009 TVA Inc.
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