When my son started kindergarten, the onslaught of “give me…” and “I want…” started. Every trip to the store became a battle of wills. All I wanted to do was to get in and get out with what was on my shopping list. My son was constantly pointing out what he wanted me to buy, and would throw tantrums when I wouldn’t put the various items the shopping cart. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to bring my son to the store.

Reward the Good, Not Punish the Bad

Eventually, I came to the realization that I needed to stop punishing my son for his bad behavior and focus on rewarding his good behavior. First, I sat down with my son and discussed all the things that he wanted: more video game time, trips to McDonalds, trips to the park, Pokeman cards, a trip to Walt Disney World, etc. We wrote down everything that he wanted.Then we discussed everything that I did and did not like about his behavior. We made a chart of good behavior and bad behavior.

I designed an easy system of points for him to follow: green was for good behavior, yellow for warnings and red was for bad behavior. Every day, he was given the opportunity to earn ten to fifteen points. Any yellows he received wouldn’t help or hurt his green points, they were just warnings. But if he got any red points, then we would subtract that amount from his green points. For everything that he wanted, we assigned a number of points to that privilege. For example, for a half hour of video games, he needed to spend five green points. If he didn’t have enough points saved up that day to play video games, then it wasn’t an option. After a few weeks, once he learned that I was serious about the new system and that he did indeed get rewarded for his good behavior, he came around. Shopping trips to the store stopped being a battle of wills.

Reward Programs can Teach Kids Important Budgeting Skills

My son has been on our green-yellow-red system for a year now. We’ve seen a dramatic improvement in his behavior at home, in school and in public. Additionally, my son is starting to understand the value of saving. If he wants something more than video games and an occasional trip to McDonald’s, he has to save his points. Instead of playing his video game for an hour, he only plays for a half-hour. By managing his daily point spending, he’s learned that he can now spend his points on something he really wants, a trip to Disney World.

These lessons just don’t apply to getting your kids to behave better, it also teaches important money management skills. Money, points, or stars…it doesn’t matter what type of “currency” you use. What’s important is giving your kids a foundation of budgeting skills that they can use throughout their life. What starts as spending and saving points can turn into savvy budgeting.