On a first teaching practice when training to be a teacher was the first time in a primary classroom since leaving primary school to move to seniors. Two things caused surprise. First, the classrooms were so small — well they’d seemed huge all those years earlier! Secondly was the way that the desks, or tables by that time, were arranged in the classroom. They were set in groups with half a dozen children sitting around tables facing each other… very strange!

Comments such as, ‘What do you expect’, ‘We can’t do anything because that’s what kids are like now’, ‘We just have to put up with it’, or ‘Kids have changed and that’s how they are now’.

It’s just abject acceptance of disgraceful behaviour. It’s become a regular response that there’s nothing adults can do to prevent such behaviour. That is what’s happening in schools and homes — it’s rife throughout society in general. But, who’s going to do anything about bad behaviour if adults have decided that they can’t tackle the situation?

If the bad behaviour is allowed to continue and become even worse it’s too easy for adults to start thinking that this unbearable situation is normal – and it certainly isn’t normal!

So often, a child who is displaying any difficult behaviours is viewed holistically as a “behavior problem”. A veil of “behavior” precedes the child and in effect places a label on them. It is vital that carers strip back this veil and identify the specific behaviours that actually cause concern. In doing so, we may actually realize that there are not as many poor behavior patterns as we think, and we can target our strategies to manage the child’s behavior more effectively.

In another articles I suggested that challenging behavior is only the tip of the iceberg. 80 – 90 percent of the iceberg lies below the surface of the water, hidden. So often the actual behavior can make us so frustrated that we are blind to, or forget to look at, what might lie beneath. However, the key to actually managing behavior is unlock the “why”.

The reasons why behaviors occur are many and varied. Social changes, frustration, attention seeking, poor role modeling, and learning difficulties are just a few. The way we identify these reasons will involve careful observation and documentation, and discussion with the family and colleagues.

We need to look at why the behaviours are of concern and why we want to change them. A loud and outgoing child’s behavior does not need managing (because individual personalities should be fostered) unless the behavior is causing disruption to others, or preventing the child from engaging in learning experiences.

By identifying why we want to change the behavior, we can again target our management strategies more effectively. The loud outgoing child may actually be creating a stressful environment for staff in the indoor environment. The child who verbally dominates and bosses may be harming other child’s self confidence.

After identifying the specific behaviours causing concern in step 1, it is then important to be just as specific to identify the specific behaviours we want to develop in the child. For example, the loud outgoing child may be allowed to flourish in the outdoor environment but needs strategies for calming and settling indoors. The child who verbally dominates and bosses others may be channeled to leadership roles in some situations, but may need support to use positive language and to develop their listening skills.

The important thing is to try one or two strategies at a time, to try them for an extended period of time to allow the child to respond, and to be consistent both yourself and between other staff and carers.